marriage getaway

As promised, I'm back to talk about the wonderful weekend Aaron and I had in Estes Park, CO. It was the first weekend in November and we are so happy we went! A little background of how we got there. I lead a Bible Study through the college ministry of First Pres. Boulder and early in October my girls and I went to a women's ministry night on Transitions. It was pretty great, considering I am in a huge transition right now! At the end of the night a woman stood up and mentioned she had a free registration gift for any engaged or married woman for this weekend. Well, you know I was jumping up and down in my seat! I practically raced over to her once she sat down and told her how much I would love to go! We chatted for a bit and she gave me the gift! The gift was worth about $350 for registration, but we had to pay for our hotel and food. I'll tell you what though, if we ever get to a point when we can just pay the entire trip, we will. It was that good.

There were 10 sessions spanning from Friday evening to Sunday afternoon. I would say our favorites were "Unlocking the Mystery of Marriage", "From How to Wow", "Marriage After Dark" and the separated "Woman to Woman" and "Man to Man". They gave us a notebook that had full notes for each session with spots to fill in blanks and then little questions here and there to assess where we were within each talk. We also had "projects" we had to do during the day in another book. We'd spend some time alone answering questions, then come together and answer some together and discuss. Though we talk to each other pretty well, I can see how these projects would be great for couples who have lost a little of that openness with one another. The speakers were super engaging, told great personal stories and communicated very clearly and well.

Here are some key ideas I walked away with:

*  I can not be the woman I want to be without God. It is only through putting myself in a position to receive and be transformed by God through prayer and Scripture that I can be who I want to be. I know it seems like a simple truth, but I need that reminder as often as possible!

* Our spouses are God's gift to us, even in their weaknesses. We are here to compliment each other and fill each others gaps. My weaknesses are Aaron's strengths and vice versa. Appreciation of that is key.

* What legacy have I been left by my family? What legacy will we leave as a couple and as parents?

* Sex is not a thermostat, it is a thermometer! This metaphor was so great. Often times we try to use sex as a way to "set the temperature" of our marriage, if we can get sex to be good, everything else will be good. BUT, the opposite is true. Our sex life is a measure of how we are doing in four categories - companionship, commitment, passion and spiritual intimacy. When those four are going well, our "thermometer" will be up. If it is down, its probably because something within these four areas isn't going so well.

* Date nights. Everyone I know does them, but because of financial situations, we haven't. Well, we're going to start now. Setting aside that time to connect is so important.

There was SO much good stuff at this conference and I really recommend checking it out to see if they are coming to an area close to you! Here is the link.

The best part was the end of the conference. At the end of the very last session they had all the couples stand up and face each other. We recited vows to one another! It totally sounds cheesy, but it was really special. This is actually the third time Aaron and I have said vows to one another (2 wedding ceremonies before this) and it was the only time I cried while saying them. After 10 months of marriage and completing this conference, I really felt like we actually knew what we were promising to each other this time.Very special indeed.


On another note, I just want everyone to know that I am okay! Apparently my last post made some think that I was in a bad place. Like I told my mom this morning, this realization that things aren't as I expected they would be has been really good. I think it is that kick-in-the-butt I needed to make some solid changes about how I live. The marriage retreat was a good jump-start for our relationship and I'm looking forward to evaluating how I can make more changes in our eating habits, my spiritual disciplines, school disciplines and our financial lives. Change is a comin'... and its a good one!